1. |
Retreat!
03:34
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I grew up alone
inside a sinner's mind
a place where I could find
a home to call my own
What kind of child
has a secret not to tell
for fear of facing hell
and choking on black bile?
I retreated inward where
the lying could stop
Too tired too tired to keep on trying
I believe that comfort comes
from being bad as you are
and knowing no one else can see
I grew up alone
with everyone I knew
who moved in as I grew
and settled in my home
Roots grew in so deep
before they knew my dark
or what's beneath the bark
where secrets still sleep
(Gregory, I see you
and I can feel you
inside my bones
you're okay and
I'm here for you now
while you pray
for this secret to go away)
I retreated inward where
The lying could stop
Too tired too tired to keep on trying
I believe that comfort comes
from being mad as you are
and knowing that no one else can see
I retreated inward where
The lying could stop
Too tired too tired to keep on trying
I believe that comfort comes
from being sad as you are
and knowing that no one else can see
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2. |
Sleeping in Silk
03:16
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I stand at the window and cry, looking
over Montreal in July
The city is flecked with light,
wrapped up in the ink of the night
Over cobblestones and histories, we
sit outside and you wink at me
Jesus Kleist, I needed this
I still can't believe that we even kissed
And I don't know how twenty years went by
without those clear blue eyes
but we're here sleeping in silk
I don't want to go back home, where
the sheets stay cold and I sleep alone, but
now you're here and I feel the warmth of your bones
Tucked inside a backpack, I have a ring
I chose from the trading post
Your fingers are closed around it, too small
to hold it all
And I don't know how twenty years went by
without those clear blue eyes
but we're here sleeping in silk
I don't want to go back home, where
sheets stay cold and I sleep alone, but
now you're here and I feel the warmth of your bones
in the stone of Old Montreal
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3. |
Past, Present, Future
04:00
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I'm in love with the past
but she don't love me back
Though I remember her so clearly
She don't remember me
So I settled down with the present
'cause she's the only one who would have me
But every night I go out drinking
to flirt with the pretty young futures that'll never be
And the worst part is
She's the one I'll spend the rest of my life with
But all I can see
Is that she's not as beautiful as she used to be
And when I'm lying in bed
the past keeps running through my head
I can't give my love to my lover
because my heart belongs to another
These futures remind me of her
but I won't ever have them either
so I'm stuck here with the one who won't
become the past until tomorrow
And the worst part is
She's the one I'll spend the rest of my life with
But all I can see
Is that she's not as beautiful as she used to be
And when I wake up
with a hammer in my head
that'll be the past knocking
to tell me I ain't dead
just yet
And the worst part is
She's the one I'll spend the rest of my life with
But all I can see
Is that she's not as beautiful as she used to be
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4. |
Nest
04:20
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When I was young and forgot how to breathe
I ran to my mother in her blue bathrobe
She took me and put me on her knee
Running the shower to open my lungs
Waking up in the dark
My sisters roused me Christmas morning
Speaking in low, hushed voices
Waiting until we could creep down the stairs
And when I'm getting ready to go,
these memories will be my home
I will build a makeshift nest from my love
After all, everything we have
is all already lost
And the thing about getting what you want
is as soon as you get it, it's gone
Hiking down into the valley,
we set up camp by the river
Backpacks heavy with cans of beer
And moments still yet to be lost
And when I'm getting ready to go,
these memories will be my home
I will build a makeshift nest from my love
After all, everything we have
is all already lost
And the thing about getting what you want
is as soon as you get it, it's gone
Oh, the thing about getting what you want
is as soon as you get it, it's gone
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5. |
Where Books Grow Old
03:16
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When night fell twenty years ago,
a blanket cold and gray,
the moon just waned
and faded away
I struck a match-head on the door
and lit five blackened wicks
the match burned out
and crumbled on the sixth
I lost the sunlight then I lost the moon
I lost the smell of the lilacs in June
The wind in the trees is the ghost of a thought
A future I already forgot
When I climbed up the staircase to
the room where books grow old,
I smelled the dust
of stories never told
Each spine is torn and rotted through,
the pages worn and gray
the darkness came
and stole the words away
I lost the sunlight then I lost the moon
I lost the pages I last read in June
The wind in the trees is a ghost of a thought
A future and past I already forgot
I lost the sunlight then I lost the moon
I lost the smell of my lover in June
The wind in the trees is the ghost of a thought
A future I already forgot
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6. |
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I fell into the ocean
A thousand miles into the sea
Too deep to feel the sunlight
Blue whales surrounded me
With songs I could almost hear
Every ten seconds, a heart beats
Where art meets age
Every twelve seconds, a love is lost
My love is lost to the waves
I hope that I'll see the sun again
Drifting in slow motion
Two hundred ton skeleton quay
She'll help me to be all right
As much as I'll ever be
I belong with the whales down here
We'll swim alone but maybe that's okay
We'll swim alone but maybe that's okay
I hope that I'll see the sun
I hope that I'll see someone again
I fell into the ocean
A thousand miles into the sea
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7. |
I Was Here
03:56
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The air is dry and cold
silent, violent, empty
telephone poles linked arm in arm
out across America,
reaching out to the West coast
But now, I dream of Godzilla
and hearing aids on dying men
friends and friends and dead end jobs
this town eats its young
Roads going nowhere better than here
My heart froze over this winter
Pharaoh-hardened but bleeding
So we write, I write, all right
a note piercing the dark
like a knife in a bathroom stall
carving, "I was here"
Trees like glass, melting
tears into the ground
The thaw and the thought
of losing home
Carry me outside, I'm tired
and I want to go to back to bed
Feel the sin of religion creeping in
a God too big to love or be loved
And now, I dream of Godzilla
and hearing aids on dying men
friends and friends and dead end jobs
this town eats its young
Roads going nowhere better than here
So we write, I write, all right
a note piercing the dark
like a knife in a bathroom stall
So we write, I write, all right
a word piercing the dark
like a knife in a bathroom stall
carving, "Gregg was here"
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